Thursday, August 27, 2015

Skipping Showers



We skipped showers tonight. We try to have the kids shower every night—the girls are getting to an age where it’s just a good idea. But tonight Mr. Bug was gone and I had a headache and it simply wasn’t going to happen.


We shoot for 8:00 for bedtime on school nights, and tonight after dinner I just told them to put on their pajamas, get in their beds and read. The girls each had books they’re in the middle of and Buddy just grabbed a yearbook to look through. They all sat in their beds and read and I enjoyed about 30 minutes of quiet. 


I didn’t do what I was ‘supposed to do’ tonight. Heck, I didn’t even do the dishes after dinner. But some nights are just that way. It’s not ‘survival’ mode necessarily; at times it’s just good to remember that some things really aren’t that big of a deal. 

 



Wednesday, August 26, 2015

The Songs I'm Singing: Need You Now

I've written about music before (here and here) and the impact it has on my heart. I think that's a very human thing--to be moved by beautiful music. This one is speaking to me very deeply right now and I thought I'd share. 

Here's the link to the song. Take a listen.

  
We live our lives in seasons. Some seasons are for rejoicing, and some are for mourning. Some we feel like we sail through on a cloud. Then there are those seasons where the only way we get to the other side is to crawl through on our hands and knees.
 
"I want to believe there's beauty here." Even in the darkest of times, we have Someone with us. Even Jesus in the garden asked that the cup be taken from him (Mt 26:39.) We don't have to want the suffering, but we can trust that God can do beautiful things with our broken pieces.

Isaiah 61:3 (NKJV)
“To console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”

The term ‘beauty for ashes’ isn’t talking about just replacing something that’s been burned. I thought that for a long time. What it’s referring to is replacing the ashes of mourning with a ‘garland’ or beauty. That thought is a balm to me. That means instead of mourning and weeping for what was, God can adorn us with a new beauty only He can create!
 
"How many times have you given me strength to just keep breathing?" During the darkest times, I just need to get through one moment at a time. I don't need to finish the marathon. I need to take one more step, and that step is all I can manage.

Psalm 18:32 (NIV)
“It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.”
 
Last one. "Standing on a road I didn't plan. Wondering how I got to where I am." I don't think any of us aim for those dark times. Sometimes we're not even there because of us. Sometimes we've been dragged there by someone else's choices. The long and the short of it is that there is darkness in this world. There is an evil one (whether you believe he's real or not doesn't matter), and he'd like nothing more than for us to drag one another down to the blackest holes there are.

John 10:10 (NIV)
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
 
Standing on that road and bleeding. Wondering where the strength for that next breath is coming from. Wanting to believe that our Creator can bring beauty and light out of something dark and ugly.
 
There really is beauty here. We may have to dig for it. But I'll dig until my fingers bleed to find His purpose for this and He can help clean us up on the other side.
 

Monday, August 17, 2015

The One Where a Movie Trailer Made Me Mad



I don’t know if anyone has seen the previews for the new superhero movie, ‘Deadpool,’ but from the regular trailer it looks like it could be funny. I appreciate the occasional dark humor and Ryan Reynolds has good comedic chops, so I initially thought this was just going to be another superhero movie we would see.

We just watched the red band trailer—which I will not link to here—and by the time it ended I was just so…angry. This was me:



In the ten or so seconds following the preview I tried to process just what it was that made me so mad and it was this: why on earth is there a superhero movie in which the f-word is used at least a half-dozen times in just the trailer. In the trailer, people! To say nothing about the nudity and violence.

Aren’t superhero movies for kids? How did we get here? What happened to these superheroes? When did superheroes stop being about silly humor and jokes for kids?!

And then it hit me.

There is a whole generation of ‘adults’ who are chomping at the bit to see this movie. A whole slew of legal adults who can’t wait to see a superhero movie with ‘their kind of humor’ and what appear to be (from the trailer) a few steamy sex scenes. I enjoy a superhero movie as much as the next gal who’s married to a comic book fan, but ultimately the movies should be geared toward their original audience. Teenagers.

Let’s call a spade a spade here, y’all. ‘Deadpool’ is a kids' movie with adult humor. Why was it even made? Because a lot of so-called ‘grown-ups’ have the attitude and sense of humor of a teenage boy, but a birthdate that allows them to buy booze, vote, and gain entrance to R-rated movies. 

There’s a possibility that I’m making too much of this. There’s a possibility that the expectation I have for ‘adult humor/entertainment’ includes too much actual thinking and not enough nudity or references to body parts and sex acts. Silly me for appreciating dry humor and intelligent comments. But I tell you what. I’ll keep ‘The Newsroom,’ ‘Downton Abbey’ and ‘The King’s Speech,’ and all those man-boys can enjoy ‘The League,’ ‘Archer’ and ‘Deadpool.’

Deal? Deal.

Monday, August 3, 2015

In My Head



http://www.nachokids.org/tag/stepfamily-2/
I need to start some laundry.

Oh shoot. I keep forgetting to have the girls try on all their shoes to see what will fit for the school year. I wish our school didn’t have a ‘closed-toe shoes only’ policy. Flip flops are the shiz. How is it possible for their feet to have grown this much over the summer?! How is it possible that she still can’t tell her right from her left??

Ew. I desperately need to sweep my kitchen floor. And I've been meaning to mop in there for like--well, for a while. Maybe after lunch. Blarg. What the heck am I feeding these kids for lunch? I’ll figure that out in a minute.

Okay, shoes are all sorted into piles. Donate, trash, see if someone I know wants those. Now I need to vacuum out the shoe closet. Wait, I need to go to the bathroom. 

I *really* need to brush my teeth. Ugh and I’m almost out of hand soap. I should go to Target but I so don’t want to go anywhere today. Teeth are brushed. Should I change my shirt? How the heck does a 32-year-old woman still manage to get toothpaste all over herself? Whatever. It’s a pajama shirt. 

Oh crap, I still need to change the laundry over and fold the two (or three) baskets of laundry that are already clean. But first I need to clean up all the blankets on the floor in Buddy's room from having friends over last night. But Elsie's asleep so I can't really do that right now. 

Doesn't she look so cute on the monitor? Oh, I should make my bed. I really need to switch my nightstand for Landon's. He's not home half the time and mine is just too dang short. I should make covers for those pillows I got in February. Or was it March? How long have we had this bed? 

I love this bed. I can't think of a single night I haven't just conked out on it right away. Except when I was pregnant. Holy cow, that was a horrible pregnancy. I'm so glad I'm done with that. 

Okay bed's made, baby’s still asleep. {So cute!} I’ll toss these clothes down the chute and go start some laundry. Oh crap. I need to finish the shoe project. Should I use the big vacuum or the little sweeper? No one’s eating off the floor in there; the sweeper’s fine. How on earth is this battery already low? I don’t even use the dang thing. 

Okay. Shoe closet’s done. Gotta get those extra shoes where they need to be. Yeah, like I need one more thing sitting on this table waiting to go to someone. 

I really should have done the dishes last night before bed. Pizza sauce takes some soaking. I’ll just let these soak for a while. 

Is it seriously 12:15? Gotta feed these kids. Leftover pizza for the win. Or FTW. What’s the deal with all these acronyms? How hard is it to just talk? Should I give them a veggie? Oh screw it. Chips come from potatoes and I’m calling it good.

Oh my gosh I still haven’t started any laundry.

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Oreos & Self-Control (And Why I Need Mind Police)




I have an issue with self-control. It’s not that I don’t have any. I totally do. There are a lot of things I want to say and don’t. There are a lot of things I want to buy and don’t. I wish I could sleep all the time, but I don’t. And even though a 30-minute shower sounds heavenly, I’m very much aware of the fact that my kids usually give me about a 7-minute window. When it comes to food, though…all bets are off.

Here’s the thing: it’s not that I cannot keep myself from eating what I want to eat. That’s not the problem. The problem is wanting not to eat those things.

Take Oreos, for example. (Praise the Lawd for Oreos! Glory, hallelujah!) It’s completely within my power to only eat the recommended serving size of three Oreos—which is ridiculous, by the way—and then just walk away. That is physically possible for me. I hate when people say something like ‘I just can’t stop eating them!’ Yes you can. Just stop. So that’s not my issue.

I will stand there and look at those Oreos {angel chorus} and think Man, I really want more. But I shouldn’t. It’s almost like I can’t stop. But I can stop. I could if I wanted to. But I don’t want to. I can have another Oreo if I want! 

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you gain 30 pounds. You talk yourself into it and all of a sudden it feels like you’re standing up for yourself against judgmental cookie police (I don’t know, guys!) and you can be strong in the face of adversity or some crap like that. When what really needed to happen was for you to end the inner conversation at just knowing you shouldn’t eat those dang Oreos.

I’m pretty sure there’s something addictive in the filling. I mean sugar, sure. But I would find it a lot easier to justify my Oreo bingeing if someone could prove that there’s some sort of take-over-your-mind, act-against-your-will substance in it. So, yeah. Someone get on that why don’t ya?
 
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